she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The Olympian is in my bed
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
