i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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