What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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