READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
