I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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