The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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