Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
