Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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