a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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