yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
