a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
