Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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