Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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