It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize