Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month

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  (843): I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month http://tfl.nu/ssqy
  Replies (8) Good night (2684) Bad night (582)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe

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  (919): just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe http://tfl.nu/vn8k
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (3161)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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  (724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq
  Replies (14) Good night (922) Bad night (3712)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

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  (954): I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza http://tfl.nu/fivz
  Replies (53) Good night (26652) Bad night (2098)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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  (978): i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night. http://tfl.nu/0hsp
  Replies (15) Good night (4316) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??

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  (503): You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!?? http://tfl.nu/qs7s
  Replies (5) Good night (3978) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.

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  (405): you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend. http://tfl.nu/xacy
  Replies (9) Good night (5663) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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  (818): I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking. http://tfl.nu/j1uf
  Replies (16) Good night (1371) Bad night (5308)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  That's cool how's he been?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.

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  (770): That's cool how's he been? (404): He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much. http://tfl.nu/1kie
  Replies (6) Good night (4723) Bad night (1963)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
  Replies (13) Good night (4533) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.

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  (612): You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship. http://tfl.nu/eji2
  Replies (10) Good night (4270) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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  (479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85
  Replies (2) Good night (921) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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  (+61): It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys. http://tfl.nu/j3cl
  Replies (8) Good night (645) Bad night (1906)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?

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  (601): Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine? http://tfl.nu/iye6
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.

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  (281): Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower. http://tfl.nu/elx1
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (148)

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