is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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