Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag