Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"