We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
PANTIES FOUND
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