But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
