My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
