I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
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Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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