I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize