Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
