who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
