spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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