it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
