he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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