Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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