She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
