This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I didn't notice because vodka
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink