Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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