Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
