talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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