Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
