And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm at about main and main street
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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