THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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