Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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