They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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