The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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