I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
