grandma shit on top of the toilet
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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