id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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