You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
