I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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