no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
