Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
