lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize