And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love having hate sex.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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