You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
