Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
