If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
