Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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