at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So vagazzling was a success
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
