i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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