I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
