White coat. Heels.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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