Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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