this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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