She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
