All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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