Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
