is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
