I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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